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Top Ten Points That Make Men Happy

Ten points that Every Guy wants, It doesn’t matter What

Pop society loves to depict us men given that easier for the species; monosyllabic, sex-obsessed knuckle-draggers, possessing all depth of a kiddie swimming pool; all the predictability of an event. Ply united states with alcohol, pulled chicken, UFC, and/or boobs, and in addition we’re putty within fingers, correct?

Incorrect. We’re advanced, unpredictable, super-complicated snowflakes — the tastes more diverse, more exotic than a goddamn Oriental bazaar. Fact is, we’re therefore multi-layered it will bump you on your own ass.

Here, then, is actually an inventory 10 of the items make united states pleased, and prepare to get amazed or, maybe not surprised at all because, like we said, we are unstable.

1) Feats Of Non-Strength

Darts. Horseshoes. Ladder Toss. Beyond the hallowed fields of play include hallowed vehicle parking a lot and backyards of drink, and where truth be told there be beverage, there shall be activities — non-athletic activities, nevertheless needing superior ability, but with no threat of elevating cardiovascular system prices or breaking sweats. These types of pursuits additionally manage us a totally free hand to put on the refreshment and/or fist-bump and/or high-five, making sure that helps it be much more awesome. 

2) You created That!

from manly pleasure you believed after sculpting that crap-tacular Mother’s Day ceramic ashtray circa 1994 Arts & Crafts, to looking in joyful awe at the very first diaper-destroying poo, to building the girl’s Ikea MALM, many of us are hardwired to lie in the happiness of making something; The pleasure of Completion. (A corollary of this will be the Joy of Demolition, particularly as it applies to dumb Ikea home furniture.)

3) “driving It Down”

That’s what comedian Bill Burr calls the workout of a person trying, at all costs, to keep up their composure, denying themselves any exhibition of emotion, inside the absolute most serious of situations, where it could otherwise end up being totally permissible to allow loose with a pathetic whimper or, as situations dictated, a banshee wail. But a man does not enable themselves this type of indulgences. To-be obvious: it’s not the bottling up of our own very own emotions that makes united states delighted; it is the lacking to endure another people’s emotional outburst that gives us the real joy. Easily actually want to experience feeling, it will likely be my personal, and it’s really when I cue upwards that Volkswagen advertisement with the Darth Vader child — it gets myself each time.

4) just how do We Put This Politely… 

whatever you decide and call-it — a hummer, a beej, fellatio, dental pleasure — it generally does not need much explanation. The systematic reason for the reason why it truly makes us delighted is mainly because our very own delight locations get rocked like a goddamn hurricane. The mental reason is we get a front line chair to a woman we at least kind of like becoming extremely gross for all of us, and us alone. That makes you ecstatic. In other development, fire is hot.

5) Intelligence Masquerading As Stupidity Masquerading As Intelligence

There’s grounds the brilliant creators regarding the loves of Ron Burgundy, Kenny Powers and Homer Simpson have actually very completely stolen all of our minds: enjoying a smart star imagine he’s a person thus stupid he believes he’s a genius is merely very satisfying. Showing readers with this type of a potent mixture of arrogance and ineptitude is actually, along with jazz, the great United states artform. Their particular antics will be the source of a lot of time your glee and, to quote Mr. Burgundy: “do not behave like you’re not pleased.”

6) McGuyvering

It’s quite pertaining to the “constructing your personal things” thing, however the nature of McGuyvering is far more about men’s instinct to improvise and correct whatever needs correcting using limited sources available, while the much more unconventional the perfect solution is, the better hookup site than craigslist. Most of these solutions do ultimately fail but, until they do, there’s a distinct feeling of excitement we experience, knowing we were able to correct that moped/toilet/rollerblades/Xbox control with only all of our clean arms, force of might, and a metric lot of duct tape.

7) TVs In Random Places

This combines all of our pleasure of looking at shiny things with our passion for gadgetry, mixed in together with the ethos to do situations simply because we are able to, guy: from Dick Tracy’s original TV wristwatch, to Elvis’ infamous television graveyard/target range, to fundamentally every bout of that highlighted a TV within an automible’s sunshine visors/headrest/center console/hubcaps, to those lodge bathroom mirrors with, you thought it, embedded small TVs; all of them awesome and come up with all of us smile.

8) a puppy Wearing Sunglasses, sitting on A Surfboard


We have no clue, but that response to the thing that makes a person look is, in most cases, “looking at a picture of your dog with glasses on a surfboard.” There’s periodically some version — it may alternatively be a skateboard, or the shades could be substituted for a monocle, but that might be less probable obviously. Point being, the opinion is not any some other picture, lacking His Excellency The Pope, or perhaps Jesus, or Lemmy from Motörhead rocking out very damn hard, garners much more smiles versus dog/surfboard combo. It is simply the “really bro, performed I really just extract this off? I guess I did,” expression regarding pet’s face. He is doing it for people. He’s sporting, he is down for a great time, but guy is actually chill about this. If you’re one and cannot laugh at that, that person is most likely broken and that I’m sorry.

9) Portable Things

Portability clearly means being able to carry the awesomeness of your favorite thing and, in so doing, supplying happiness wherever you choose to go. Battleship ended up being the maximum board game actually. (I’ve been told Candyland has also been exceptional but I never played it considering that the assumption felt impractical) But Travel Battleship? Actually cooler — cooler than wake-surfing behind the U.S.S. Nimitz. Bongs are very cool. The portable snowboard restoration kit that changes into a miniature one-hitter? Ice cold. Custom chopper cycle? Very cool. Minibike? Miles-fist-bumping-Elvis amounts of cool. Barbecue cigarette smoker? Fairly rad and likely exactly why the terrorists hate all of us. Barbecue tobacco user attached with a trailer hitch, prepared for any open path? Precisely why the terrorists wouldn’t win.

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10) Repetition, Repetition

The inside laugh or discussed anecdote is a nice and intoxicating thing — like a great swig of Kentucky Bourbon. However the sly and continuous call-back to said anecdote, even, say, ten years later on? Well, that there is your own Lagavulin solitary malt — appropriately aged and therefore a great deal more enjoyable. Like that time in 2006 when your friend Jer turned up to a backyard barbecue in his unnecessarily brief shorts. Countless hilarious statements ensued about Jer’s “sweet calves” and “epic upper thighs” — plus it naturally cannot conclude indeed there. Actually years later on, the main topic of Jer’s Killer Gams still arises — even at their marriage toast — getting fun and pleasure to scores of men.